Wow, long time since I've blogged! Life has been hectic and full of changes at the Higgins' household. For me, with change comes worry. I could become the Queen of worry if I'm not careful. I read a quote today that impressed me and made me think about how I deal with worry. "Once film negatives are exposed to the light of day, they're ruined. In the same way, once you see your worries for what they are--self-inflicted doubts--their power disappears. If you give your doubts and fears too much development time, they'll take hold and start to color all of your thinking in a negative light."
I sat with this and mused about it for quite a while with respect to my life. It is true that worry is self-inflicted doubt. If I would trust that no matter what happens I will reach the other side and not let the worry overtake my thinking, I believe I could abolish a lot of the worry in my life. That's not to say that I'm always going to sleep at night. I'm a 3:00 am thinker. I wake up and there is always something to think about. What I want to do is stop worrying about what I can't change or control. Yes, I have a very controlling personality - I'll admit it!! If I wouldn't worry as much and spent more time coping with the realities of life and less time occupied with would-be problems, I believe I'd learn and be better equipped to handle whatever comes along. Alas, easier said than done.
I believe that worry and stress go hand-in-hand. We can't let this part of life overtake the joy of living. I woke up this morning, well I should say I was awoken this morning by a frantic phone call from a son lost in Vermont. As I was talking with him on the phone I looked outside. We have a fruit tree in our front yard that fully bloomed overnight. The sun was shining on this tree that is covered with white, pink center blossoms. It was unbelievably gorgeous. I calmed down, got Nate calmed down and we worked through figuring out where he was and how to get where he needed to be. I didn't worry that I wasn't going to be able to help him, I didn't worry that he wasn't going to make his appointment on time....I had peace and trust and lots of color in my life picture. Granted, this was a very small incident, but it helped put worries into perspective for me. I told a friend yesterday that I was feeling overwhelmed, but I didn't know how to 'fix' me. I have a total change of attitude today. I can 'fix' me, I can let go of the worry and choose to follow the path of life no matter where it leads without letting it overtake me with the negative, self-doubt of worry. Worry is something we all have in our lives, but for the most part it is a waste of time and for the most part we need to accept what we cannot change and if we can change it then do so and then let it go.
"We become what we think about all day long."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
