Stewardship of our earth

Treat the Earth well. It was not given to you by your parents. It was loaned to you by your children. - Kenyan proverb

I've been thinking about how unusual the weather has been this summer, which led me to thinking about "earth management".

Reduce, reuse, and recycle sounds great, but do we really apply earth management into our daily lives? I don't litter, I recycle and reuse whenever possible, but how many times do I drive my car to run errands when I could compile all of those errands and multiple trips to the grocery store into one trip? How often am I too lazy to ride my bike or walk to work instead of driving? And then there are the "green" products. How many of them do I buy instead of the commercial ones I've been buying for years made with harmful chemicals? I have to admit I don't buy many green products. It's easy to disregard the dangers to the environment because there are no immediate consequences to our lives. However, what will our earth be like in 50 years if everyone lives as they are today? Not a pretty world or one I would be anxious to live in.

I've decided to try to set a good example to others of stewardship for our earth by recycling, using no or at least fewer chemicals in cleaning products and in my garden, walking when I can instead of driving, and generally just appreciating nature and all we have been given. Instead of going to Disney World (which I have to admit is a lot of fun), I'm opting for camping or backpacking - big surprise huh!!

This world is not ours alone. It is communally shared with all the generations before us, and all of those after us. Let's leave a beautiful world for those that come after us!

Okay, I'm off my soapbox for today......

True Friends

If you have one true friend you have more than your share.

- Thomas Fuller, English clergyman & historian

Again I haven't blogged in awhile, but today I was thinking about friendships and decided I needed to write to the friends in my life and let you know how I feel about you. All of us have a handful of acquaintances--you know those people we work with or see at the store and casually say hello to and move on. But a true, close friend is someone you confide in, go out with for a cup of coffee, invite to your wedding or your child's wedding, or cry with when someone you loved passes away. A true friend gives us a sense of safety.

I didn't want wait until a rainy day to express how much my good friends mean to me. We are unaware of how much we mean to others until they speak up, and likewise you, my friends, don't know how much you mean to me if I don't tell you. Thank you for being a part of my life and making a difference in my world. I love and appreciate you all so much.

Worry - Self Inflicted Doubt

Wow, long time since I've blogged! Life has been hectic and full of changes at the Higgins' household. For me, with change comes worry. I could become the Queen of worry if I'm not careful. I read a quote today that impressed me and made me think about how I deal with worry. "Once film negatives are exposed to the light of day, they're ruined. In the same way, once you see your worries for what they are--self-inflicted doubts--their power disappears. If you give your doubts and fears too much development time, they'll take hold and start to color all of your thinking in a negative light."

I sat with this and mused about it for quite a while with respect to my life. It is true that worry is self-inflicted doubt. If I would trust that no matter what happens I will reach the other side and not let the worry overtake my thinking, I believe I could abolish a lot of the worry in my life. That's not to say that I'm always going to sleep at night. I'm a 3:00 am thinker. I wake up and there is always something to think about. What I want to do is stop worrying about what I can't change or control. Yes, I have a very controlling personality - I'll admit it!! If I wouldn't worry as much and spent more time coping with the realities of life and less time occupied with would-be problems, I believe I'd learn and be better equipped to handle whatever comes along. Alas, easier said than done.

I believe that worry and stress go hand-in-hand. We can't let this part of life overtake the joy of living. I woke up this morning, well I should say I was awoken this morning by a frantic phone call from a son lost in Vermont. As I was talking with him on the phone I looked outside. We have a fruit tree in our front yard that fully bloomed overnight. The sun was shining on this tree that is covered with white, pink center blossoms. It was unbelievably gorgeous. I calmed down, got Nate calmed down and we worked through figuring out where he was and how to get where he needed to be. I didn't worry that I wasn't going to be able to help him, I didn't worry that he wasn't going to make his appointment on time....I had peace and trust and lots of color in my life picture. Granted, this was a very small incident, but it helped put worries into perspective for me. I told a friend yesterday that I was feeling overwhelmed, but I didn't know how to 'fix' me. I have a total change of attitude today. I can 'fix' me, I can let go of the worry and choose to follow the path of life no matter where it leads without letting it overtake me with the negative, self-doubt of worry. Worry is something we all have in our lives, but for the most part it is a waste of time and for the most part we need to accept what we cannot change and if we can change it then do so and then let it go.

"We become what we think about all day long."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's a great day to be alive

Keeping a positive outlook on life can be a challenge. As I'm getting older, I am slowly learning to deal with stress, relationships, and anxiety, but most of all I'm trying to master lack of motivation and low self-esteem. I think these emotions affect all of us at one time or another. Lack of motivation and low self-esteem affect me often, way too often.

I've decided to have a more positive outlook in my life as one way to quiet the voice inside my head that is trying to convince me I can't do or be what I want to. So I'm getting rid of the negative self-talk and replacing it with positive self-talk.

As I've been thinking about positive self-talk, I remembered when I was training for a marathon. During the trainings, I played little mind games. On an out-and-back run I'd keep telling myself all you have to do is get to the turn-around and you've got it made. Once you head back it's a piece of cake. Gosh it worked! I didn't ever not make the turn-around or complete the run back. It occurred to me today that was a form of positive self-talk. If I had told myself repeatedly that I didn't think I'd make the turn-around, I probably wouldn't.

I read a journal written by a first time marathoner the exemplifies positive self-talk. Here are two excerpts from his journal, one from the beginning of the race and one at the end. They are hysterical, but oh so true of a first marathon and positive attitude or self-talk.

Music blaring: the Boss, the Stones, Van Halen, adrenaline rising. “Where you from?” “Kentucky, Atlanta, Dallas, Kansas City” “Have a Great Race!” National Anthem, doff the cap, get choked up. GUN! 10,000 articles of clothing arc curbside. A fireworks in fabric! 20 minutes to the start line. Hopes of catching Khalid fading. Hit the start line. WOW! WOW! WOW! WOW! WOW! The crowds and runners roaring! Heart monitor indicates I hit lactate threshold within 10 strides. Don’t care…pure joy! WOW! WOW! WOW! WOW!

Oh, to be young again! Cramps are getting serious. Everything is cramping: quads, glutes, hammies, calves, ankles and toes. OW! WOW! OW! WOW! Grinding it out. Grabbing bananas at the aid station. Road littered, sticky, slippery. Squishing through the pain. WOW! OW! WOW! OW! I reflect on the quote: “Everything I learned about life, I learned in the last 10K of a marathon!” So true! Acts of courage and kindness all around me, evidence of the magnificent human spirit! WOW! OW! WOW! OW! WOW! Wife waving…”Honey, I’m cramping badly, but I’ll make it!” Grizzled old man yells to me “God Bless You!” “Thanks, I needed that!” I cramp, stumble, walk it off. Run a minute, cramp, walk it off…and so it goes. WOW! OW! WOW! Wind blasting. Run a minute, cramp, walk it off…again and again and again and again. I have never felt like this in all my life! WOW! OW! WOW! OW! WOW! In my mind I AM a Kenyan…a Kenyan trapped in a 51-year old, undertrained Clydesdale body. I WILL finish! Run, cramp, walk, run…WOW! OW! WOW! OW! One mile to go…nothing can stop me now. Runners cramping, collapsing all around me, but all will make it!

Now that's positive self-talk at its best.

When the excuses come......Too tired? Don't care? Don't feel good? I'm going to repeat positive things......I'm strong, I can do this! I'm getting fit and healthy! "WOW! OW! WOW!"

And it's a great day to be alive

I know the sun's still shinin when I close my eyes

There's some hard times in the neighborhood

But why can't every day be just this good

Relationships

I am so disgusted and irritated with people that say one thing, but their actions speak another. I'm finding this to be true with family and friends. I'm trying to find, in my heart, that spot where grace lives, pull it out and give it to those who need it. It is becoming exceedingly difficult to do this. There are current family situations that grace is slowly coming forth. But, it's the friends that you reach out to that don't respond that are leaving me hurt, angry and discouraged. Non-response says to me "I'm not interested, I don't care about a relationship with you." When do you decide to give-up and let the relationship die a peaceful death? I don't know the answer to that, but I think I'm real close to finding one.

Sunday we went to visit some friends whose daughter was in the hospital. They had no idea we were coming. They talked about how blessed they were that we had taken the time and driven 2 1/2 hours to just say hello, pray a hedge of protection around all of them, especially their daughter, and to let them know they are loved. Our intent was to bless them, but we were truly blessed by the gratitude we received from them.

So from that type of reaction and feeling of love I go to the opposite where you're ignored no matter how many times or how hard you try to reach out. As I'm writing this, I'm realizing this is my issue....and I have STUPID written across my forehead.....now is time to put issues to rest, let God be in control and his path be the one I walk down and just stop trying.

I thank the Lord for all of the friends that I have that I talk to once a day, once a week or once a month. These are the friends that I know genuinely care about me and me about them. When I started writing this, I wasn't sure what I wanted/needed or where to go with my feelings. Now I know, give it a rest, relinquish my controlling nature and follow where God leads.

Aha Moment

Saturday was my day to have one of those rare Ah-Ha moments - you know when your intellectual mind, emotional being and physical body all come to an agreement at the same time about an idea or problem. It is that "thing" you've struggled with in your mind that's causing conflicting emotions and you get all stressed out when you've think about it. Then "wham" all of a sudden you "get it". You have an overwhelming feeling of good emotions that gives you a sense of relief and happiness, or perhaps resolution. For me, it was all three at the same time: relief, happiness and resolution.


My Ah-Ha moment on Saturday went something like this....I don't like to have my picture taken (those of you who know me well aren't surprised by this) and I don't like to look in a mirror more than I have to. Well, I was looking in a mirror Saturday and looking at more than my face. Trust me, it wasn't a pretty reflection. I was staring at myself when I realized how much I didn't like what was looking back at me. And, there it was, my "Ah-Ha Moment". Avoiding or creating excuses for not taking care of what was making me so unhappy hit me. I don't have to live like this, I can change what is making me unhappy. Wow, what a sense of relief, but also resolution. Why all of a sudden it happened, I can't explain. I've only had this happen one other time about 9 years ago while I was out on a bike path. Again, it was one of those moments where everything fell into place with tremendous clarity and perception.



I have already started changing what is making me unhappy with me. Soon I'll be able to look in a mirror and like that person looking back at me. Ah-Ha moments haven't occurred very often for me, but boy when they do they are life-changing.

Spring is Coming!

Today was the first time I have exercised outside since last November. It felt so wonderful. I could almost feel spring knocking on the door to get in. It was windy, but from the south so it wasn't cold. Any day the grass is going to turn green, the robins will be returning, the crocuses and tulips will be blooming. All of the cold, dreary boredom of winter will be gone.

Spring always brings about my desire to get in shape. This year is no exception. I still have an Achilles tendon problem, but I think I will be able to work through it and run. I also set goals in the spring, not that I achieve all of them every year, but I strive to. This year my goal is to run the Walt Disney World Marathon in January 2010. My secondary goal is to run the Chicago Marathon in October 2009. All of this is dependent upon my Achilles, but I'm going for it. Did you hear that Mr. Troy - I'M GOING FOR IT. I know your calendar is marked for October, but pencil in that Orlando date too!!!

I have to find my motivation to get back to the gym to lift weights. Last summer when I was lifting it made a huge difference in my physical well being. If I can't get myself motivated, I'll have to call on oldest son Jeremy to come out to Sycamore and get me started. I have to admit he is my role model. This guy has more self discipline and energy than anyone I know. Must be the way he was raised!

Here's my game plan for this year. Run Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday; lift weights Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday; bicycle Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. I love to bicycle so I'm hoping for an early birthday present from the hubby that he will get my bike tuned up with new deraillers, sprockets, seat and brake adjustment (are you reading this Mark?).

The only downside to all of this is that Mark won't be able to come with me for at least a month, probably a month and a half until his ACL tears heal. It was amazing how much I missed him this morning. Awww, Markie you are so loved!So there you have it. I'm excited that spring is almost here and I'm looking forward to getting in shape. Feel free to check in on how I'm doing and hold me accountable.

Happiness

Today I have been pondering happiness. Here's what I've come up with.....happiness is a state of mind, not a way of life or a destination that will be reached one day. The road of life contains many bumps, but we cannot let them ruin our days. We often think that if a combination of events would just fall into place THEN we would finally be happy. Satisfaction, or happiness, comes from within, through truly accepting yourself, your life, and your circumstances - not such an easy task. During this life there will be many hard days--long work days, sleepless nights, worrying about the future, etc., but these are just the bumps in the road.

This week, I'm choosing to focus on my happiness (state of mind) along with trying to find a way to enjoy (okay maybe get through) those little bumps in the road too.

Is There Selfless Sacrifice In Me?

Do I have the courage to really lay my life on the line for another person? A person that may not even be related to me. I have been searching my heart trying to find the answer within me. I probably will never know unless the situation arises.

Here is the story and the reason why I'm looking into my heart and my courage. There is a woman that attends our church. She is a very active member, serves on worship team, leads a small group with her husband, teaches Sunday school once a month and the list goes on and on. I often wondered that she is so busy with the "works" of the church does she have the time or the heart to really have a relationship with God. Okay, that's a pretty judgemental attitude and I could not have been more wrong. This woman's faith and love for the Lord moved her to recently donate a kidney to someone she has gotten to be good friends with over the last five years. She didn't hesitate, she didn't do the "what ifs"....what if the kidney I have left fails, what if her body rejects my kidney and neither one of us have use of if, what if something goes wrong in the surgery, the list of what ifs could go on and on. But, she didn't do that. She went ahead and had the test for compatibility as a donor. She was found to be the best donor match of anyone tested. This woman's behavior and character was truly an example selfless sacrifice and a behavior of acting like Jesus with skin on. Her response, when asked about why she chose to do this was "God gave you an extra kidney, you might as well share it." Both women have been blessed making remarkable recoveries after highly successful surgeries.

So, I look at myself, do I have the courage and a strong enough faith to "put it on the line"? Would I/could I do that for someone else? There's no doubt in my mind that I could donate a kidney to one of my children or my husband. I want to hope and believe that I would be the kind of person that would selflessly sacrifice for another. Boy, I admire this woman so much and her courage to give to another without thinking of herself. This is the type of character I hope I have within me.

Can we be a nation united?

I am extremely excited for our country with the change in leadership to Obama. Yesterday was a historic day ushering in a new era of leadership, vision, and direction. Obama has a full plate set in front of him and we need to be patient, work hard, and be willing to make the sacrifices required to get our economy back on track.

After having heard all of the wonderful excerpts from Obama's speech and all the comments about Michelle Obama's wardrobe, you know how important that is to our economic health, I found myself extremely ashamed of the behavior of some of the United States citizens as Bush was leaving yesterday.Bush may not have left office as a favorite president, but we as a country elected him to two terms of office and, we as a country, owe him the respect of treating him with dignity as he leaves the leadership of our country. I don't agree with all of the decisions that were made during his office, but there were many advisers assisting him. He used the advice given to him to make the decisions he felt were right and the best for the country at the time.

Yesterday as Former President Bush was leaving, on-lookers heckled and booed him. Where is respect for the man that we elected and put in charge to run our country. He's not the one that put the banking system "belly-up". I don't hear outrage from the public about the insurance companies, mortgage companies and banks that have had to be bailed out by receiving millions and millions of our tax dollars. Where did a significant portion of this money go? It went to the executives that made the decisions that put our nation in the catastrophic shape it's in. But is there an outcry or booing about rewarding them with millions of bonus money and benefits for their poor decision making and judgement. So, here is some of our nation booing a president that is leaving office after serving us for 8 years. It makes me sad that people can treat each other this way. It makes me wonder if these same people will be willing to endure the sacrifices that will be needed to get our nation back on track.

I don't see area of Camelot returning any time soon.

Value time before it's too late

I don't know about you, but often my days are busied with worry, stress, complaining, work, and a general wasting of time. This year I have made the commitment to myself to realize the value of time, and not wait until it is too late. While life may seem like it's a long time in the midst of it, truly it is a blink of an eye.

I will admit, I am a procrastinator. I have great, wonderful ideas (well I think they're great), but I don't bring a lot of them to fruition. My goal this year (okay make it a resolution), is stop procrastinating, stop living for the future, but live in the present. By that I mean making more time in my life for enjoying a good cup of coffee, calling family and friends to chat, reading a good book, or reaching out to someone in need. These are some of things I don't always take the time to do or enjoy. Everyday I want to get all of necessary work done that needs to be done, but allow extra time to spend on the truly important things, the matters or people that may be gone sooner than I can imagine.

This blog is short, but I have put my thoughts in writing making a written commitment to myself. When December rolls around, I'll evaluate how I've done this year.

"Know the true value of time; snatch, seize and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness...never put off till tomorrow what you can do today." - Lord Chesterfield